FRIM

FRIM

Fazli

FRIM

FRIM

Blossoms at FRIM

Smiling Enlightment

Entrance

Touching Enlightment

Pouring Enlightment

Part of Enlightment

Orderly Enlightment

I was asked to take this shot :)

Late lunch

Tau Foo Fa Lady

Franky

Look at the CD

This is a guy who did not want to have dinner with me

Onlookers

Chanteuse

Chanteuse

A few of the 30K people who turned up.

FRIM & Wesak Day

I googled a week ago "Photography Malaysia", checked out a few websites and decided to join an outing they organised on Sunday. First at FRIM (Forest Research Institute), then moved on to town to catch Wesak Day. Wesak is the Day of Enlightment for the Buddist. I loved it - really felt the positive energy and the big hearts people had on the day. So big that I was given blessed threats, holy water and a blessed candlelight. Out of all that goodness I was also asked for my phone number. Sweet.

Corporate Raiders

We just stick a camera in the elevator

One day Dean said to us: "we should make a movie". Idea was to stick a handy-camera in the corner of an elevator, get us to say a few witty and snazzy lines that he wrote. Call it "Corporate Raiders", a dark comedy with a twist, a short piece, no more than 5 min. "It'll be fun, I promise you", he said.

The next thing we knew, we had weekend rehearsals, acting classes, lines to memorise, accents to master and fittings to go to. "Simone" was borne, a private joke we crack up over. Till today whenever i meet a girl with this name, i burst out laughing. How rude. (I basically read "C'mon" in my lines, as "Simone". Get it? Worse, we have it on tape that gets replayed at ocassions).

Well, we also ended up with a full production team; sound, cameras, lights, make-up assistants, props experts and costume rentals. We all chipped a bit of money to pull it off, while the Deans worked their charms on the crew to get them to do it almost for free. We worked 14 hours on Saturday and 18 hrs on Sunday.

This was one of the best weekends we had together as friends. We ended up with a short movie of 12 min and memories for years.

We love the Deans.

Ok, Dean: can i now have .avi format of the movie to put it up on my blog?

Pix from the shoot are here.

Low Back Dress

I have learned to live for years with intense headaches, sometimes migraines, acne on my face and back, frequent bloating. Leaving a house without painkillers would give me heart pulpitations. When a very close friend was getting married, as a bride’s maid we were made low-cut dresses revealing our backs. That was a total disaster for me to imagine wearing it on her wedding day. I was determined to find a solution and hit Google looking for answers to adult acne. I think my life has pretty much changed from that day. I always felt that it was not the cosmetics that I used that were causing it. Damn, I was so right. I found a lot of answers on www.mercola.com website. The main cause of my problems were wheat and diary products. I completely eliminated them and my life has changed drastically. I have not had a headache in weeks, my skin has improved drastically, I have more energy and I no longer suffer from after-lunch lethargy. My other parallel problem, hyperthyroidism has disappeared sooner than medical science was expecting it to.

As it turns out, there are millions of people out there suffering from an array of diseases and conditions that are caused by the food they eat. As Socrates said, Food is Your Medicine. The other side of the planet, the auyrvedic practitioners in India and Sri Lanka seem to think the same. Jamie Oliver came out on a talk show just the other day saying that today’s new generation will be the first one to live shorter lives than their parents. It is phenomenal how we have mastered the art of self-destruction in the western world.

I loved the movie “Supersize Me”. Many people dismissed it saying how stupid one (and the movie makers) can be to eat McD every day and expect positive results. I think they miss the point. Supersize Me is a wake-up call and a shake-up for millions of people, perhaps a little over-dramatised, but it is often the shock therapy that works and not politically-correct dietary articles in girls’ magazines. The movie’s message it clear. It is not OK to feed your children with burgers and soda every day, it’s not OK to munch on MSG-coated crisps, it’s not OK to have no fresh foods in school cafeteria. Ultimately, whether it’s McD or home-made fries, the results is the same: junk every day.

Remember that reality show about a group of people loosing weight in a period of time? I never forget how they were asked to go to a supermarket and pick up lentils. Most of them did not know what lentils were. A friend of mine lived in a US from age 10-14 and developed cellulite. He’s 28 now and lives with the stretch marks.

You always ask yourself what can you do to play a part? What can you do to help? I’ve been doing my part of sharing this with many of my friends, many of them have began to see the results of changing their diets. And this is not about a weight-loss diet, a feel-good 2-week diet. It’s about changing one’s eating habits and adopting it as a way of life. I found it very difficult at first to deal with no cereals in the morning, no bread, no beloved pastas, no cheese. After all, this is your typical European cuisine ingredients. Due to the problems I had, there was little choice and so I started searching for alternatives and substitutes. With great results. I hardly have any cravings today, I feel better than ever, lost a bit of weight (not planned, not necessary even). Two other friends of mine have rid themselves of asthma after eliminating most diary products from their diets. I told my doctor about it, he responded it must have been circumstantial. Well, the website I talked about, www.mercola.com can explain more, check it out.

You will understand my concern with these issues even more when you look at the health statistics of my generation in the current Eastern Europe. After all, this is the place I grew up age 10-15. Cancer cases are higher than ever, the health budgets are not enough to cover 50% of the population’s conditions. Much of it is blamed on the communist era’s management of waste and resources, the Russians contaminating us with nuclear wastes. I will never forget May 1986 when Charnobyl exploded. The man on the street found out about the disaster only 5 days after it happened. People were told it was OK to eat fresh vegetables and drink fresh milk. These two items carried the highest condensation of radiation. My family was a little more aware of the real danger as our neighbour worked as a chemist and she knew what the actual pollution readings were. How bad was it really? Put it this way : the officials who made statements on national tv announcing no real dangers and giving assurance that the Big Brother will take care of cleaning up the disaster effects swiftly and effectively are serving prison time today under today’s political regime. As for me, I’m suffering from so many food intolerances, I have thyroid problems. Maybe not too bad compared to other people my generation. People joke and tell me I’m a health freak. Maybe I am. Maybe they would have been freaks too if they left so conscious about wearing a low-back dress.

Cookie Empire

Building a Cookie Empire
Ax expat wife. A datin. A wife of a rich businessman. A string of thoughts and associations come to your mind right away. Morning coffees at the Bangsar Shopping Complex, early afternoon treatments at this new contemporary balanese spa, afternoon teas at Carcossa. Evening is reserved for pleasing their husbands. I refuse to agree this is stereotyping, just venture out and look.

I’ve caught a glimpse of this worrying world of wealthy but very lost wives by spending time with a mother of a friend of mine. An expat woman herself, with a routine of manicurist visits pre-scheduled days in advance, shopping hunts for the latest Prada handbags, dinner ‘musts’ at the most atmospheric, posh restaurants in town. An expat woman unhappy in her marriage, unhappy with herself, looking for ways to boost her self-esteem, finding consolation in the fact that all her friends are exactly the same.

Why do we, women, choose to become victims? I refuse to comprehend and accept.

On one side it’s tough to be them. It’s SO EASY to start your day at Coffee Bean and sit there the whole day talking the day away. It’s so easy not to THINK about an alternative, more productive way of spending a day. It’s so easy to please yourself with these small pleasure fixers, read: wines, spas, fancy holidays. As it appears, they tend to be so superficial and shallow that they lose their appeal and value right after they are over.

There was a day I went with a friend of mine for a yoga briefing before visiting an ashram. It was a working Friday morning (well, not for me that day). After the briefing, we hopped over to the all-expat-and-datin-paradise – the Bangsar Shopping Complex. We sat down for a coffee and I said to my friend that this is totally fantastic to be sitting here in her good company, a cup of a lovely, dark, strong coffee, gossiping the morning away. I joked and said I could do it for a living. She smiled and said “No, you couldn’t. You would go mental”.

If you have ever envied these ladies, their powers and lifestyle, think again. They may have what you don’t have. But you also have what they wish they had: a peace of mind. A peace of mind of not worrying if there is another sweeter bird out there that will build a better nest for their husband. A peace of mind of not worrying what would happen if their husband cuts the gold supply – would they fit, would they still have friends?

I feel for these women as I’ve spent enough time with them to realize how trapped they are. Or rather how they trapped themselves in the claws of comfort, complacency that resulted in fears and lack of goals with values.

I believe that the happiness of a person is largely dependant on a purpose and a goal they chose to pursue in life. Whatever that goal may be – having kids, raising charity funds, teaching or pursuing a high-flying career. Goals can also be a moving target, they change in different phases in life. Many of the expat-and-datin crowds lived their lives to raise their kids, but once the kids flee, many of them fail to find or even try to find a new purpose in life.

I admire a story of a friend of mine whose parents divorced when his mother was in her 50ties. She was a housewife most of her life. At that point of her life she found herself in an asset dispute with her husband, 4 grown-up kids pursuing their own dreams and very little to do. She dived into doing what she loved and did best – cooking and especially cookie-making. She started off at the back of her kitchen, later expanded to a factory, eventually selling her business off. Today her cookies are served in the first and business class of a few airlines, a top notch chain hotel, delicacy stores of several countries. She never did it for the money, just sheer passion and a desire of finding a new purpose in life. She built her own Cookie Empire.

And so I go back to my initial thoughts – why do we, women, chose to become victims? Why do we permit ourselves be surrounded by such low common-denominator activities that please none by ourselves? Are there no orphanages, charity foundations, abused women, suicidal teenagers, understuffed animal shelters seeking help?

“What did you do today, honey?” he leans forward and asks her over the dinner table. She smiles and thinks really hard to recall her day.

Building a Cookie Empire is not about becoming rich and powerful. It’s about finding and re-defining a meaningful goal in life. People with goals channel their energy towards positive causes, their minds are pre-occupied with thoughts and initiatives that go towards building their goals. And goals here I define as meaningful purposes, not just improving a golf handicap. This is what will give them confidence, independence, self-esteem and happiness. Maybe this is what safes some marriages from falling apart. And even if their marriages fall apart, it’s not the woman who is the absolute victim and a wrack. She will have enough strength to pick herself up and find her own Cookie Empire.

The last time I spoke my mind on this topic with my friend’s mother and her 3 expat-wives-and-datin friends I got nods from some and stares from others. I still haven’t figured out if they stared at me in disagreement or in contemplation. Whatever it was, I wish they find their own Kuey Empire equivalents.

Dear Lord, I’m Alone and Happy

Dear Lord, I have found myself alone and happy. Since I don’t worship and communicate with you through any church, synagogue or temple, I will use this blog as a channel.

Writing has always been a therapy for me. I quit smoking after writing about my never-ending intentions of quitting. When I re-read my journals on how enslaved and dependent I felt on a bunch of dry leaves it made me disgusted and angry with myself. So I quit cold turkey. When I re-read my journals of my life with a man I once loved, I decided to leave my husband, which most certainly was the best thing to do for both of us.

I’m not sure what I’m looking in keeping this blog. One might believe that self-analysis is a positive thing to do to develop further as a person. In lieu of searching the acknowledgment from others, one can learn to assess own strengths and weaknesses, finding ways out of puzzles.

I’m alone again and I’m so happy. I’ve just realized that I have not been alone for a very very long time. Maybe never, really. Always in a relationship, always living with somebody, if not family then a housemate, boyfriend, husband. It’s a new feeling that I’m discovering. Waking up in the morning and deciding ‘coffee at home or at San Fran’ without the need to ask him what he wants to do. Why is it appealing ? Why do I find pleasure in being this lonely horse, so happy to roam around on my own? Is it just a temporary thing or will I remain this way forever? I’ve been single for the past 2 months, you see.

We were on Yahoo IM with my friend and I told him how happy I was to be alone again. He replied “people always say that”. I was puzzled. Most people are afraid to be alone. Would they say it as a defense mechanism?

A friend of mine went to India and brought back this book for me “The Art of Joyful Living”. I did not think such of it and put it aside, as my previous experience with such spiritual-cum-feel-good books has been : not being able to get beyond the second page. This one is different though. I flipped it and spotted this line “Get up early in the morning and don’t laze in bed – it cultivates a bad habit and promotes laziness.” OK, so the guy is down the earth” I thought. I flipped it back to the first page and been reading it since.

The author talks about finding happiness in life, on many levels. I will not be summarizing his book here, but I will share some of the things that made me ponder and recall throughout the week. He says that complements and love are a disease. When you first read such statement you instantly think of a sacrifice-seeking monk denying himself the smallest pleasures in life. Then I read on. About complements: if you are confident of who you are and what you stand for there is no reason for external validation, read ‘complements’. What others think of us is irrelevant if one knows himself/herself.

About love: we feel great when we have it and feel at the bottom of the barrel when we don’t. Hmmm. Had an interesting encounter this Friday night which made me think it over. Met this old friend, after not seeing him for years. He was back in town for a few day and we caught up. Towards the end of the night I felt if I pursued it further I won’t sleep alone. We connected rather well, so I thought this won’t be such a bad idea. Since the outing was unplanned we were both very tired, we agreed to text each other on Saturday night after dinner to see how to catch up. I found myself thinking about it more and more towards the afternoon, debating if I should text him or wait. The whole thinking process I suddenly found myself in was rather peculiar and funny. Maybe even unnecessary. This is not love that we are talking about here, but I still define it as part of a game that leads and develops love, affection and perhaps later derails to deceit, anger, bitterness and insanity. That pondering, waiting was no fun, and I can see how it can become a disease.

But what kind of a person must you be to deny yourself love, passion and affection? Have we been made as human beings to live this way? Dear Lord, what have you made of us? Dear Lord, I’m alone and so happy.